Now Lady LaRue may be in semi retirement at the moment but her spirit is formidable and I hope that she is resurrected sometime soon because I want to see this beautiful lady in action.
What, I hear you say is this post all about? It’s about Stephen. It’s about fighting, it’s about living with every inch of your being and for being grateful for what you’ve got and realising that that is a precious thing.
Sunday night he put a new post on Facebook, he had been feeling pretty, bloody shitty recently….. More shitty than usual, dizziness and balance had started to set in, as had grumpiness. His post was to apologise for being a miserable old git. They had done some more tests at the hospital and on Wednesday when he realised he was unable to stand up, more scans were put into place to reveal a brain full of tumours, one of which was pressing on the cellebrium, which side effect is being a miserable old git. So he felt the need to say sorry for his recent morose behaviour.
I felt differently this time about tackling the 2WW, I knew what we were up against and how dreadful it is, so I took a different approach
I don’t need to spell this out…. HERE is my inspiration and here is why today 48hrs after our bad news we are going straight into another cycle. Yes, my physical bruises still remain, the mental ones are there too but both of those will disappear in time . It might not work, again! we might not be third time lucky but do you know what, Matt and I are Fucking lucky, we have something so many strive for. We might never have a baby…. My battle is nothing, nothing compared to yours ( I know! It’s not a competition) but I want MY friends to know about YOU and to know what an amazing, hilariously filthy minded, human being you are. Thank you darling, you don’t realise that what you wrote last night, made me sit up so sharply and see just how God Damn lucky I am.
I still had the first couple of days off and cut out all double shifts but otherwise I went back to every day life as much as possible, apart from no baths, no caffeine, no alcohol, no lifting, no stressing, no symptom spotting…… Yeah well that last one is a lie, thank God for work because every spare moment was exactly that….. symptom spotting online and driving myself round guy spy me the twist, however I did only look up positive stories and it really did help me to get my head in a good place.
Do you see where I am coming from?
I had a lot of drugs to take this time and I am black and blue from injections and have the added joy this time of a very lumpy bum, due to the progesterone in oil jabs, such an attractive existence I live at the moment.
Symptoms started almost straight after transfer, (last time I didn’t have any till the second week) these were all very promising, period pains, twinges, headaches, all of them arrived in the first few days. Now the cruelty of IVF is that the medication can mimick early pregnancy symptoms too, so you never know if what you are feeling is real or not. In the second week I had a very dry mouth too, which is another great sign AND the biggest, sorest boobs ever, much to Matt’s delight but mainly shock! it was all coming together rather nicely. We started to feel quietly confident, so why not start putting together some boards on Pinterest of nurseries, prams, maternity clothes etc, you have to stay positive after all and I really was this time. Sure, I had a couple of blips of negativity in week two but I just knew this time was different, I could feel it so much.
