Fetish gear and bondage sex toys, while not absolutely essential to enjoy the pleasures of BDSM, can definitely complement a power exchange session or kinky sex scene. There are enough bondage sex toys out there that I could write a book on the subject – but let’s have a brief milf silversingles look at a few of the main types:
Corporal Punishment
Although OTK (over the knee) hand spankings of the submissive’s bottom is beautifully satisfying in many cases for both the Dom(me) and sub, you might want something different at some point – or to just give your palm a rest!
Spanking paddles come in a range of shapes from large and round to quite slender and rectangular. They’re often not too expensive so you could buy a few styles and see which is your favourite.
Floggers deliver strokes to the submissive’s body which are as gently teasing and erotic or viciously stinging as the Dominant chooses. Kinky floggers have multiple tails while whips have only one tail or a few at most. Whips are seen as more brutal than floggers, so I’d advise a flogger for an absolute beginner. Think about how much space you have to play in before buying; long tails will need more room to wield them in than short tails, but you can deliver a wider range of sensations with a long tailed flogger in my opinion.
Sensory sex toys such as pinwheels, vampire gloves, waxplay candles and feather ticklers are fantastic for exploring new physical sensations which can lead to a deeper sense of mental submission, too. Not only do these kinky accessories open up prickly feelings, temperature play and tease and denial options, they’re also ideal for using if you only have a small play area (such as a bedroom).
Bondage
Bondage is an incredibly popular form of BDSM fulfilment. I believe this is because for those attracted to BDSM pleasures, bondage binds the body while releasing the mind – a harmony rarely found in any other adult pleasure activity.
Wrist cuffs and ankle cuffs are easy to fit, adjust and fasten. For an absolute beginner (and actually, for all those indulging in bondage pleasures) I’d advise avoiding metal handcuffs. These are rigid in a bad way – the metal does not allow for comfortable movement of the delicate parts of the body restrained in them like wrists and ankles. Instead, look for leather (or faux leather) types, or neoprene. Bondage cuffs might fasten with Velcro or a buckle fastening.
Bondage rope looks absolutely gorgeous in intricate bindings like Shibari (a Japanese form of rope bondage) but these can be very difficult for an absolute beginner to replicate. If you desperately want to try rope bondage then it’s advisable to also purchase a guidebook on the subject – and have a pair of safety scissors at the ready while you’re practising in case of emergencies. Bondage tape is brilliant for beginners to BDSM – easy to use and sticks only to itself, not the body.
Mouth Gags
Ball gags are a very recognisable type of mouth gag in BDSM but they might not be the best for you as a beginner, depending on your mouth shape and size. Beginners to BDSM often find bit gags much more comfortable, as the jaw doesn’t have to open quite as wide. Other types of mouth gags are ring gags which offer the potential for particularly sexy sessions as they hold the submissive’s mouth open no matter what…
Hoods and Masks
A gimp hood makes it very clear who the submissive person is in any BDSM scene, but it might surprise you to learn that hoods and masks (where the wearer can still see) are often worn by Dominants in BDSM as well. In fact, if you’re a beginner to Domination, wearing a face mask can take some of the pressure off you in front of your new submissive. Covering our facial features often helps us to act in a less inhibited way than we would otherwise. Just make sure you always follow the main rules of BDSM – consent and safety.
