I allow myself to pretend that he thinks the same of himself, and with every word he tells me, I allow a fantasy to grow inside my mind.
He presses me up against the wall, his large fingers leaving pearl sized dimples where they meet my thighs. His lips hungrily nip at my neck, but all I can think about is Harry.
One of exclusivity, happiness, loyalty
I think back to when we were younger and surely in love, to when we were always insatiable and in need of more of each other, and I close my eyes and I imagine im 22 again and being with Harry exclusively.
“Im sorry, I just dont think im feeling it.” I tell Jordan, my personal trainer. He groans before slowly lowering me from the lockers onto the ground and I awkwardly rub the back of my neck.
“Well can you at least suck me off or something? You kinda got me worked up.” He chuckles. I look down to see a prominent bulge in his pants, but the thought of being with someone other than Harry frightens me and quite frankly, disgusts me.
“Im really sorry Jordan.” I mutter, fiddling with my sock-clad feet before slipping them inside my tennis shoes. I grab my phone from the bench in the family locker room and scroll through my contacts, dialling Harrys number.
If I close my eyes hard enough, the man I have no interest in slobbering all over my neck becomes the man that I love
“Hell-Hello” He breathes out heavily. I wonder why hes so exhausted, but dont think too far into it before replying, “Harry. You promised youd drive me home from the gym on the way back from work, remember?” I ask, trying not to sound too annoyed.
“Shit-Shit, yeah, babe. I completely for-forgot about that. I-Im on my way.” I sigh when he hangs up, sitting on the bench in front of the gym. The sky looks grey and thunder rumbles a I sit alone, sipping from my water bottle occasionally.
Harry slept with countless women ever since our agreement was first put into place. It seemed as if he picked up women everywhere he went.
There were pros to an open relationship though, without the tensions of Harrys constant infidelity lingering in the air, we were much closer as a couple. We often spent time together and he always managed to wake up next to me, regardless of how it happened. Well, sometimes he would stumble in after I had awakened, but I lied to myself and pretended to sleep just to feel him hold me.
A few droplets of water fall onto my face. Initially I believe its sweat, but I soon realize the droplets become heavier and heavier. I turn installment loans Minnesota laws around to seek refuge from the rain inside of the gym, only to realize it was closed and the only reason I got in was because Jordan worked here and had a key, leaving the door locked without him.
I couldnt bring myself to have sex with someone other than Harry. It just felt wrong because regardless of the circumstances, my heart belonged to him. It was shattering to lie around while he was granted the ability to sleep with countless women, but I believed he did still love me. I just think we had different ways of expressing that love.
I finally see his expensive car pull up next to me. My clothes are drenched, and Harrys taken far longer than the 3 minutes it takes to drive from his studio to the gym. I grab my things and open the passengers seat, rushing to get in before I get even more wet.